


The Royal We

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-20
Updated: 2011-10-20
Packaged: 2017-10-24 19:50:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/267213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t make light of this, Peaches. This is epic epicness.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Royal We

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been thinking of a way to tangle Emily up in this family for a while. I knew I could do it but the recent royal news helped me nail it down. It also gave the story a plot point.

“Oh my God, oh my God, are you serious? Oh my God!”

Penelope’s excited squeal, followed by jumping up and down, alerted everyone in a two-block radius. Hotch even came out of his office to see what was going on. “You're really serious, aren’t you? Peaches, are you serious?”

“I'm serious.” Emily spoke in a low tone as she nodded.

“Oh my God, oh my God! How did I not know this; I know everything. How did I not know this?”

“Baby girl, I think you're gonna pop right out of those shoes like a bottle rocket.” Derek said grinning.

“This is the best news I've heard since…no, it’s the best news ever! This is truly the best news ever. I thought Bowie being God was good news, but no, this is seriously the best news ever!”

“Do you care to share, Garcia?” Hotch asked, slightly amused by the ebullient display. “I wouldn’t mind knowing the best news ever.”

“Boss, did you know…?”

“Garcia!” Emily exclaimed, stopping Penelope in her tracks. “Not out in the open…please.”

“What?” Penelope’s face showed confusion. It quickly cleared and she smiled. “Oh right, of course, I'm sorry. C’mon Peaches,” She pulled Emily up from her chair, eagerly pulling her toward Hotch. When she got to him, Penelope grabbed his hand and took them both into his office. She closed the door behind them.

“Have a seat, Boss.”

“OK.” Hotch sat at his desk. Penelope was still excited while Emily looked embarrassed. He was quite curious as to what this was about.

“Did you know we worked with royalty? Our very own Peaches,” Garcia put her hands on Emily’s shoulders. “Is royalty, Hotch.”

“I'm not…”

“You are, and I'm so excited. This could be the opportunity I've been waiting for. I'm a breath away from Prince William. I mean like a real breath; this is much more than a six degrees of Kevin Bacon thing. This is real. The magnitude of this event cannot be measured with puny human materials.”

“What's going on, Prentiss?” Hotch looked at her. “Why don’t you both have a seat and let me in on the secret?”

They both sat down across from Hotch. Penelope’s knees were dancing but Emily remained still.

“A few days ago, Prince William announced his engagement to Kate Middleton.” Emily said.

“I heard that.”

“Well, my grandfather is King George VI’s second cousin. I guess I should say my step-grandfather, though that’s strictly for clarification. That makes him third cousin of Queen Elizabeth II. All of his children, Nat, Aunt Joan, Aunt Lesley, and Uncle Anthony are the Queen’s fourth cousins. They are 5th cousins of her children and 6th cousins of her grandchildren. Those grandchildren include William and Harry.”

“Do you know what this means?” Penelope asked excitedly.

“I was hoping I would but I'm still a little lost.” Hotch replied.

“Emily is Prince William’s cousin!” Penelope exclaimed.

“I'm his seventh cousin, Garcia…by marriage.” Emily added.

“Don’t make light of this, Peaches. This is epic epicness.”

“It is?” Hotch asked.

“She’s family, and family gets wedding invitations. It’ll say Emily Prentiss and guest. Who do you think the guest will be?”

“I'm channeling Morgan here but I have a feeling that if it's you, Penelope, someone will get a late night bail call. That someone will probably be me.”

Emily smiled but the tech analyst wasn’t swayed. She stood, smoothing out her purple polka dot dress.

“Scoff if you must, boss man, but I'm closer than I've ever been. I will meet Prince William if it’s the last thing I do. I need to tell the boy. Oh my God…can I tell the boy?”

“You can tell Kevin.” Emily replied. “No one else though, OK?”

“My lips are totally sealed.” Penelope closed her lips, locked them and threw away the key. Then she giggled and left the office.

Emily laughed a bit and looked at Hotch. He was looking back with an amused look on his face. It wasn’t quite a smile but she knew an amused look when she saw it. If Penelope at her most excited didn’t excite or amuse you then surely you had a heart of stone. Even at his most stern no one could really accuse Hotch of that. Emily had to admit to liking the amused look over the stern one. The stern one always looked like he had an ulcer.

“You're royalty?” he asked.

“I am not royalty, Hotch. I tried to explain to Penelope but once she heard one thing she wouldn’t hear another.”

“Technically…”

“No, please.” Emily shook her head as she cut him off. “Stepchildren are not recognized in the line of ascension. Not that anything other than a nuclear holocaust would put Natalie, my aunts, or Uncle anywhere close to the throne. And I'm thinking if the nuclear holocaust does come, no one will care about the monarchy.”

“Someone will have to lead the few people left in the United Kingdom.” Hotch replied. “I can't think of anyone more qualified than Natalie. I'm picturing her with an Uzi and eye patch, ala Snake Plissken. She would kill zombies with Simon Pegg at her side.”

“I'm not even going to ask how you know who Simon Pegg is.”

Hotch laughed and so did Emily. He really liked that scenario; wondered how Nat would feel about it. She had an amazing sense of humor.

“It’s not as big a deal as Garcia’s making it out to be. They're related, yes, but I doubt she’ll get an invitation to the wedding. The family is close but huge.”

“Well, he’ll be the King of England one day.” Hotch reasoned. “Won't they want the whole family there?”

“Sixth cousins? I honestly don’t know but it seems too removed to me.”

“It must be hard to be removed when you're a member of the royal family. And she is the Queen’s fourth cousin. In a monarchy that’s still close. Right?”

“I really don’t know.” Emily shrugged, standing up. “Nat’s family is tight-knit and there's a shitload of Carmichaels and Carringtons on her father’s side. Her mother’s side, the American Reynolds and Pages are a little easier to count with your fingers and toes. It’s just too many people.”

“Sounds like an interesting family reunion.” He replied.

“We’ve had some lovely times when we go to the UK. They treat Julia and I like family; I know how much Nat and my dad appreciate that. And I love the other side of the family. My father is an only child and my mother’s family has its issues…its nice to feel like part of a larger unit even if its only a few times every few years.” She sighed. “I'm sorry for the crazy interruptions, Hotch, I'm sure you have work to do.”

Emily walked to the door. The sound of her name stopped her with her hand on the knob.

“What if you did get that invitation; Emily Prentiss and guest?” Hotch asked. “Who would be that guest?”

“Well it'll obviously be Penelope if I value my life. You saw her in here…she’d never forgive me if I took someone else. Sorry Hotch, you won't be kissing the Queen’s hand this go-round.”

“You're probably right.” He smiled. “I’d like to talk some more about this sometime though. You and I…and I didn’t even know.”

“Does that make your crush on my stepmother even more pronounced?” She asked.

“I do not…Emily…”

She laughed, brushing a raven lock behind her ear. Hotch adored Nat, he adored her entire family. He fit in so well and if she wasn’t already madly in love with him that would’ve helped.

“We’ll visit my parents soon. Nat doesn’t talk about herself much but I’ll let her dazzle you with stories of playing hours of hide and seek at Buckingham Palace with the Prince of Wales.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

“Alright.”

Hotch nodded, going back to his paperwork. Emily walked out of his office and back into the busy bullpen. At her desk, she looked at the mass of paperwork with disdain. It had to be done; no matter what the paperwork had to be done.

“Penelope is walking on air.” Morgan said smiling. “I think you made her century with that news, Prentiss.”

“Too bad it doesn’t really mean anything.”

“Ellis says the perception of the event affects a person much more than the actual event itself.” Reid said. “Garcia perceives your relationship to the prince, even by marriage, gets her one step closer to possibly stealing a lock of his hair.”

“She better be careful,” Derek said. “He doesn’t have much left to spare.”

They all laughed and went back to work. It was going to be a long evening; Emily would at least have something to smile about. She picked up her office phone and dialed out. The phone rang three times before a friendly female voice answered.

“Hey Nat, it’s your favorite daughter.”

“You better not let your sister here that. Hello, darling.”

“Hey. I was wondering if you and Daddy were free on Thursday evening. I thought I might bring over your favorite guy; he just found out about your family.”

“He didn’t know?” Natalie asked.

“No, I didn’t feel comfortable revealing your business to just anyone.”

“He is not just anyone. Is he just anyone?”

“No, but…he knows now. The whole team knows now. William and Kate are very big news.”

“Tell me about it. I've been on the phone all day. I think Dad and I might be heading over sometime next week for a little while. Mother is quite excited about the news. But we are definitely free on Thursday. We would love to have you both. I’ll cook a big dinner.”

“He’s going to be happy to hear that. We’ll bring wine and dessert; I’ll see you then. I love you.”

“I love you too, Emily. Don’t work too hard.”

“Yes ma'am. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

Emily hung up the phone, taking one more look up at Hotch’s office before digging into her files. The faster she got some of this done, the faster she could get home. Her plan was not to go alone. As much as she adored her, Penelope wouldn’t be her ‘and guest’ tonight.

***


End file.
